…which is completely false, but it’s a catchy tune and now you can’t help but read on…
…I had prep first period today…went into school for homeroom and then it was already time to leave the school…spend the least amount of time in the school and get paid the same is my policy, my philosophy, my way of life…what a life…or is it, what life?...I left the school and went to “Steve Bagels” located somewhere in Brooklyn…look it up…
…I purchased myself a shit bagel without the sausage because I’m 100% anti-sausage…we’ve gone over this before…it should be in your notes…this leads to me actually not ordering a shit bagel…instead an egg and bacon…which still smells like crap when the wind is right…never thought I’d be an anyways guy…but anyways…there I am…you see me...of course you do...because if there’s one thing this writing doesn’t lack, it is details…
…you see me…there…eating…and this lady walks into “Steve’s Bagels”…she looks very much like Al Sharpton…the younger and even rounder version…same attractive stash…Ms. Sharpton asked, “Do you have any bagels?”…Unless she literally wanted Steve’s bagels and thought she was asking Steve…this is the most ridiculous question of all time…this is like walking into a library and asking if they have any books…
…this is like walking into a church and asking if they have any pedophiles…
…this is like walking into a porno store and asking if they have Asian Delights Volumes 1-53…Volume 54 is coming out at the end of March Madness…what did you think all the madness was about anyways?...
…this is like walking into a school and asking if they have any stupid kids…
…this is like walking into the same school and asking if they have any teachers more stupid than the kids…especially that Asian one over there…...so many parents today are so stupid that they hear about Special Education, and because little Timmy is so special, they want their kids to receive this Special Ed...and now everyone is in Special Ed...it ain't so special anymore...like Timmy isn't...
…this is like walking into America and asking if we have any obese people…
…this is like walking into New Orleans and asking if they have any neglected black people…
…this is like walking into Larry King’s closet and asking if it has any suspenders…Phil Jackson wants his shoulders back…
…this is like walking into Ryan Seacrest’s closet and asking if he is in there…
…this is like walking into January, getting sunburn and asking if it has any warming for this globe…
…this is like walking into a strip club and asking if they have any garden tools…
…this is like walking into a Chinese restaurant and asking if they have any previous felons…
…this is like walking into many other places that specialize in something and asking for that something…and I will come up with more after I take care of this shit bagel…I’m gonna need more than a candle for this one…
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